Sunday, April 20, 2014

new blog

Stereotypes

Before, people were all the same.  Now, we have cliques.

Nerds - Smart People in Glasses
Popular People - People Who Listen to All the Well-Liked Music and Hang Out and Don't Depend on Adults to Tell Them How to Live..
High Class - Academic and Political Successes
Jocks - People Whose Lives Are on the Court or Field
Hermits - People Who Stay Away From Crowds..
Drama Queens - the People You See Goofing Off All the Time
Queers - People Who Chose to Follow the Beat of a Different Drum
Druggies - Popular People Who Lead Secret Lives
Social Butterflies - Normal People Who Seem to All Get Along
Stars - Those Who Shine and Can Achieve Power and Attention

Asiatic Ladies


http://i1053.photobucket.com/albums/s463/CB-Photobucket/Untitled.png

Monitoring My Thoughts Too Intently--

Well, my 1st thought may simply be a reaction that may be twisted or covered.  The next thing is more of my own thought.

Chinese-Indonesian Actress

Sandra Dew





No Good

I don't think it is healthy for me to constantly be given suggestions about my race.  It'll make me end up by accident hurting someone else, someone else's feelings.

IMDb - The Soapbox

What happened to all the popular and successful | well-liked people in high school in graduating years of like 2000-2005? They seem to have disappeared, do not respond, and have a more bleak future than other kinds of people.. They had more "hot" spots of people then kids from the 1980s. People before were all attractive, but today we separated into cliques and different types.

Sing

Amira Willighagen with Pavoratti

link

Mobile

may or may not post

 photo 2103-05-27-5.png
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS HOUSE!!!!

You must be pretty lazy!

To group out older kids from good affection!

Problem

My parents keep acting like I'm doing something, like my cousin|s..

If I feel violent, then something big happens..

Problem

My dad was thinking about my older aunt, and when I passed my mom to get something I thought of she dropped something.

So..

I was gonna post to inform I was over it, but then he seemed like he said something else with 2 meanings that mighta been something.. "The shape is ape."  Who cares?

Stressed

My dad coughed as I looked at my Easter candy.

These people can't seem to leave me alone..  It should be happy, but it seemed to ruin the moment.  I didn't need that, and it wasn't a nice message.. he was thinking about me being mad, though.  What's wrong with him?!  He's questionable and not nice.

TV

There was a lady with a boy who's probably 40 living with his parents.. and I felt that she'd love to be my mother-in-law.  They just connected to what I am so much.  Like on the inside.  I got off to a bad start, worried about why they had my mom as a mom.  Oh, this is Charleston.

Holiday Cake

There's a holiday cake.

link

Looks pretty cute??

UUUGH

I have NEVER been so poor.

Won't Regret- What I-

I wish I could play organ.  I was supposed to start when I moved at 12.  Now, I have nothing to offer my church when I come home.

on TV!

These people..

..are not pro dancers.

Proactive Plus

Proactive Plus

I have a pimple of a face.  It looks swollen.

TV

Celebrity Crime

I wasn't mad before, just talking.  I was sad.  Are you still on this, I'm not?  I know myself.  Also, sorry for anything in the past lingering, thought of something so far.

As a Kid

When I was a kid it was about these annoying men acting goofy and like kids should not exist.  Until they have their own and for some reason they're everything you'd wanna be.

Disclaimer

The Welsh are beautiful, but Ginny is funky, risque, etc.  Which is something she just does, doesn't have to..?  What?  Just apologizing for not explaining better.

Problem

My mom made my toes feel lose and long, the right foot.

Picture of Me


OK

I'm not doing anything wrong, I wanna enjoy my time before I die-

Problem

I don't need someone to say something annoying twisting something I said or did.

Forget this!

Have a great night!

It all made sense to me!  I'll get better, I hope.

How will I get in shape with no ballet or gymnastics or ice skating?

iPhone

I want the free 1!  The freee 1!

When it isn't -really- bad..

..I stop and smell roses - ah!
Ellen, you can't keep saying all these problems.  No one likes it..

What Started It

I was talking about my dad snoring.  Also, they loaded the page funny!  Like slapped it on the water!  OMG.

Smart

A boy with brown hair is better and a boy with white hair might be too serious, pick the 1 with brown hair!

FINE

Say ELLEN is better than you!

So..

What do you want to talk about?  Answer here.

Not Fun

You all surround me like I'm something I'm not then get mad at me for me having that in my mind.

I know the RaT!

Helena Bonham Carter must be schizophrenic cuz her bad attitude rubs off and then she just finishes it in the big picture.  I swear, I kid you not!

Sorry

But my hand is still bothering me.

I am so disgusted at you guys wasting my time being mean to me.

Nice Advice From a Buddy

of Ellen

So, yes, I was respected age 9-11 where I lived.  I don't need people to sample my race being niggerish.  ..Before that, it was even more intense, each place before, that I was right and others were wrong in some way.  Why would I be wrong now?  I'll say what I like!!  People in Orlando and my family are being mean.  I don't want to give anyone a bad rap.  But something's gotta give.  Learn to answer my blog so you don't get mad later.

Problem

Why are people elaborating about Ellen DeGeneres?  What do you think about how things now are about bowing down to her like she's better or however you wanna say that?  I will not accept whatever they think Ellen ^can do to me^.  Like it's oh so fascinating.  Wow, must be reveling in the experience.  You have no power over me.  You're just ^wild^.  So, what, you want me to figure out what's wrong with Ellen?  I don't know.  Is she meaner now that I watch?  I asked that yesterday, something of the nature.

Weird

Ginny will not give her best.  She's all tacky about being Welsh and not a compliment overall to Pennsylvania.  She acts bad like it's just a thing, her attitude.  I know she has a good side, but she doesn't seem to use it, even in private lessons.

SOME ONE has a SER ious problem!

Every time I say something, someone twists what I say back.  I am just having a hard time finding the right words.  I know they do, too.  They just disclaim it somehow, like maybe I didn't-

Problem

Why are people mad at me for e-mailing people?  They make me feel like I didn't explain myself enough.  Why are you thinking kids are like their parents when they're not?  I don't e-mail now for some reason.  It's because you all want me so here it is, too!

What now?

Why do you care if I went to Coachella and wanna spy on Twitter with someone, I can do what I like.  I did nothing wrong, so this is a lie and racism.

Problem

Why you think I want wide fluffy fingers?  I'm not Welsh like Ginny!  What is wrong?

What, does this post make you upset?  I'm just posting about what you did.

You'd need to lighten up.

I talk like this.  I am looking for solutions.  I think it was funny!  Sorry.. gonna go do something else, you know what I meant...

So Sad (cont.)

I wanted a blog that independently stood on its own and didn't involve busy people.

Why is I so sad?

I like to imagine that I put interesting stuff up.  I don't know if anyone reads my blog on a regular basis.  It was supposed to be fun.

Let me be the 1 to say it.

I was wondering if Ellen reads my blog, and if she doesn't, she should be doing other things, then I wonder about how she has time and interest in us online or me.  I was thinking, and you know people here are making clicks and stuff in my room like talking and watching me in private.  Well, suddenly, my dad keeps snoring.  Sometimes, he does that when I watch TV.  He did it as that thought came across to me..  I thought he said I wasn't even a soul.  I don't need that.  You all or whoever at the correct moment spring and make Ellen sound like a real person and me not now.  And you all like defend her and all that.  It's like she's the world ruler.  I'm not trying to be mean.  She is so elevated.  No one would ever say this about me if it weren't for all that weird stuff that's been happening to me.  People here got ^antsy^ and were mean to me, sensing I failed and withdrew in college and did it more than once.  Now, no one is nice to me, and I like lost my family.  That's not ^okay for tomorrow^ here.  I feel wiped of my past.  I'm fat.  Fat from up north.  Maybe, I needed it.  I guess I am just not really rich enough to go on my own diet.  I was on a diet, but I got tired of this..  I just realized I don't want 2 things to happen next to each other and never get it out properly, so.  I just realized something important.  People in Orlando don't trust me so are always mean.  They keep wanting to revel in Florida just being a parking lot.

This happened..

the other day like.  My eyes were closed.

Magic

My hands twitched like up north synchronized and I felt pressure of the bones and I almost very clearly seemed to have been seeing something, a boy, my brother again.

My Pictures Page

link

IMDb - The Soapbox

Is Tim Burton partly off limits?..

I mean, does he not believe in certain things, like feeling certain ways? Does he think it's just silly and to feel good in certain ways is silly? He is strangely mathematical.

No offense, I'm a big fan.

Decision

I will try to finish the classes to get grade forgiveness and complete an AA in general studies.  I wanna act, though.. if I make it.

Traveling

I saw a respectable black woman on a commercial who acted like she likes the funny black ladies but maybe 2nd from a mom and as an aunt.

Pictures of Me



Picture of Me


I don't get it.

I used to have brown hair as a baby, sometimes black.. and then it had a white streak.  Why have a daughter with straight black hair?  I don't want my parents to do what it seems like they would, but I wanna lead a stimulated life.  I could ^do it myself^.  I dunno.  My hair is getting lighter now, and I had fun with dark hair sometimes, but it usually had a streak of another color since moving this 1 time when I was like 7, unfortunately.  I dunno what hair looks like if it has real light plus black.  I guess I looked okay in all black hair, but I mean.  I'll hafta lay in the tub awhile to do it.  To get it lighter.  My eyes looked blue, too, once.  Tell me, to feel some kind of emotion while I'm in this world, what colors my hair need be?

Saturday, April 19, 2014

I wanna go to college.

I want something to lecture.

Comment

link

Christina Ann Barrett says:
She is such a winner! We need to all treat her good and make her happy!

Norwegian Girls

16-year-old blogger somewhere


Asians All Around

Since Asians are found in Scandinavia and Indonesia, I guess you are just interested in pure Asians for that interest sake.

Affection

That's right, point your finger, [you say] "I'll h*** your kids (feelings) because it's only about the people related to people who lived in the South around 1900.."

Speaking of which, why is there a cutoff date?  Are people with ancestors in Pennsylvania who no longer live there have anything in this life|world?  I bet you even like the way Eskimos look better, somehow, but you better get your whims straight!..  Let's see..

(1) Scandinavian|Nordic|Norse
(2) Northern Europe
(3) Mid-Southern Europe
(4) Southern Europe
(5) Colored People (India and the Near and Middle East) + Asians|Native Americans
(6) Black People

More Pix

link

There are people clearly in 1.  Yup, that's the Saint Augustine culture!  The city is Spanish.

Dreamy

I think of Pennsylvania, esp. northeastern Pennsylvania I guess, like it's really dreamy.  Think of the farmers with their berries.  This is to me what to you is England.  I think we've all signed out as Pennsylvania Dutch, as Amish.  People are interested in the Amish farmers who don't use electricity.  I think we were farmers because we were poor, though they had clothes.

:|

Did you see the little girl with white hair?  Imagine that!  White hair!  1900!

More Pix of Saint Augustine

link

Think back on your life.

In 1997, things were so dreamy.  I had just started junior high!  I was ready!  It's more about school than class unity--until you go to high school.  Then, college, it's off again.

We just got computers with the specific digital images, like on TV.  It became popular at 1 moment, and I was 11.  It was very exciting to me as a young lady|girl..

I lived by 3 gas stations.  Now, this was the nation's OLDEST continuing city, 2nd oldest.  1565.  So, they even made a gas station a 3D motion theater.  The mall had a movie theater, and I saw Titanic there, once with a friend, and then a 2nd time.

Things were really picking up a pace for me being in junior high.  There were different clothes to look at, sometimes I went back to kids and wish I got that purple cartoon felt sweater.  Probably for kids a year younger.

We dreamed of shiny light blue things.  We were dreamy in black!  We followed the teenage and I guess young adult hype and the Middle Aged people..

There was neon green, lime green!  Dances!  Which people didn't like as much as I did.  This was so long ago it's been buried!  I'm looking for some way to exercise but can't and know it's painful.  I do exercise, though.  I think that us getting fat ruined it.

Now, we have to pay attention to the teens today, but it seems like there's nothing withing the dirt even that's about me in this way it used to be.

I remember the library, the old bookstore, the children's choir I was in since I was like 7, well 9 there.  The oldest church parish.  The cathedral burned down once.  The old buildings and shops we could walk to and buy jelly beans sometimes and sometimes a stuffed animal or something, getting a cookie or possibly an ice cream.

The world was real and full of all its mystery.  I had a home and a window to the world, so-to-speak.  I fell into love again after living in the New Orleans area awhile in a suburb and then met people from New Orleans which just changed everything for some reason.  I just fell into the spirit of Mardi Gras, guess it gave me a high feeling.  That place was enveloped in that like an animal trap.  I felt astute and have high memories now.  They were so humble and not all over Hollywood every other breath but in high school yea.  It was fun, they even made a big deal of like the clubs you were in in high school.  I was in the world of music and got to travel after a year of college, but my life being an experiment stopped me when I was up north.  My conclusion is that I being in the South and having North heritage that my life is where I'm from but I have heritage in the other place.  The South is dreamy, but the North can be magical.  I should hail from New Orleans partly.  I went to college there.  I dunno, lotta popular people go to LSU.  I considered that option later on.

My conclusion is New Orleans is a dreamy, sweet, mysterious, magical, secretive, other-worldly land to understand, which I did even before I believed in other ways of being, like magic where people don't die off.  I am not sure if other New Orleanians today feel the same way.  It might be like the Little House books, where some people ward off people like me.  New Orleans is also more a party city than Las Vegas!  Don't even put LA on the map!  They're crazy over party season, Mardi Gras.  People go out there like it's MIAMI!  Oh yea, Miami is the culture I am from and it is dreamy in real type things, the beach pretty much.  It's nice around with the palm trees and you can feel the environment as anywhere.

So..

Just as I had remembered it!

I paid attention lived there 3 years, age 9-11|12.

link

Never!

I feel no one was ever open to me being an Ellen DeGeneres person.  They encourage people who are 15 today..

I just feel there's a lot of turmoil right now.

Flagler

This college used to be a hotel, in the oldest continuing and 2nd oldest city in the U.S..

link

It's in Northeastern Florida under a major Floridian city.

LA

I was thinking of going there and networking, otherwise I'll go into my shell and live in a mansion on the beach of Southeastern Florida.

School Online

English II 1st.  I need 6 classes of grade forgiveness.

Mobile

may or may not post

 photo 2103-05-27-5.png

My Hair

It has lighter parts in it, like flowers in a valley.

TV

Watching a college lecture on Jews.

I could see the brunettes with light highlights, and I knew parents made it dark or something or they got darker, so why we don't have middle hair colors.

Ugh!

I am tired of taking my dad's problems about what his mom made him but only (his) mom is right.

IMDb - The Soapbox

Thinkers of Men - Do you think Baby Boom got older kids outta the way?

They made people born 1990-1991 as the flop test, they stutter and can't read nor hardly think in a way. Kids born 1992-1996 were just created as buffer or the fill in generation.

Edit

last post - use = us

So

They got it out of the way for the real kids, but they'll find they are not God to us.

Faults

People born in 1990-1991 can't read and stutter.

My age, we feel groggly.

They ^used^ people born around 1990-1991 to set something for the ^real kids^ to fall back on, like people are not their own people and can't make themselves appealing!  The ^real kids^ are born around 1997-8.

Picture of Me

What did you think..

..about Ellen being much older than we thought?  You must miss the old Ellen.  I do not know about her like that.

deviantART


Girl Sitting by ChristinaABarrett on deviantART


Angel Girl Standing by ChristinaABarrett on deviantART

I am dominant to my dad.

He ^needs^ me to do things a certain way.  He's like a fat lady.

Question

Why do otherwise bad people support Ellen DeGeneres?

Mobile

may or may not post

 photo 2103-05-27-5.png

Problem

I went out to eat my unfinished pizza, and my mom made me feel violent.  My dad didn't.  Stuff came up.  I wanted to ignore it.  I was worried they would change me.  That's what she said!

Gotcha!

How cheap, you say I'm a troll with my high quality posts just because I'm 1/2 Chinese.  Why is everyone being so racist?  I don't like being that race, so it doesn't matter!

Problem

I feel guilty and impure.  I had a good day yesterday.

Think of it this way.

Ellen follows a stereotype, so when we do it we aren't copying her and we have a right to be that way.  I'm not saying it in a mean way- I'm over that.

Problem

So, my mom is actually being mean all the time again..  Acting like I deserve to be treated badly.  Anything to say?  She's not a bad person.

Wale! (Well)

Sorry, I was a bit upset this morning.  I had a good day yesterday..  It wasn't purposely bad.  I didn't do it to myself.  I know some things slipped and I denied it.  How tacky!  If you didn't watch me, maybe I would never had got into the habit.  How can an unsaid thought hurt someone?  Other people do this and don't get hurt.  Now, you wanna help them, too.  Am I gonna be "made" into something I don't want?  I'm sure I have, in ways.  Anyway, I was able to turn myself off to the insults by choice almost successfully.

It doesn't mean..

..I wanna be Chinese.  I don't look that Chinese..

And..

..I see adults like to rub in how they don't like Chinese kids.  I'm hiding.

Why can't you decide?

You think maybe in the end I'll be a minority to you racially?  What a joke!

More Cowbell

We need more like Ellen.

I don't wanna play yo game!

You can't look at everyone and feel sorry for them and act like I can also be both ugly and spoiled.  Am I to be left alone in the dust or picked on while you all transform into your ^true self^?

Problem

I said something about how it didn't matter to teach other mean people in a way that made sense.  I don't agree with being mean to me.  Now, they get what I have, just because someone had a cow.  They seem to be on a roll to defeat and beat and constrain me with my options.  Everyone can't live life ending up beating me all of a sudden just because of something that happened that everyone fell for.  I'm a bit annoyed in their presence.

Cute Kids @ Christmas




ooo come little children



 

So Sorry!

What did I do wrong, just decided to pick on me?  Justifying and containing my thoughts?

A Happy Topic

I like Ellen to be stimulated, but what do you think about it being because of people who find fault with her?

New Tab

Photos of Me

Self-Control

xp  Today went well.

Let me put into words..

..I found only Salsa for my pizza and it was not good.  The dough was like playdo|clay.  I think it was a joke, and I didn't mean any harm.  It just wasn't a nice experience is all.

OK

I'm not in a bad mood, but my parents keep on being upset.  They just keep going.  I didn't do anything, but I didn't agree..  I don't like when

Back.

TV

"The Ellen DeGeneres Show"

Ellen sure looked good today.

The Frozen merchandise sounds like it'd be nice.

Kristen Bell I was so totally amazed by and would love to be a friend.  It was so funny when she was in the leaves.

Tony Hale was really nice.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Problem

My dad listens to my mom but not me.

Problem

My dad keeps acting like I'm not white.

Stressed

I ended up buying a book I don't know if I should return.

Another problem, my dad is making fun of me for his being born in 1950, and Ellen probably said to do it.  He was being mean, I didn't even do anything.

I just posted how I was stressed about something and worried about my hair fading.  What don't you get?  It's something important to guide your life.

My dad won't stop being mean.  Why do you care even if I cursed about it in the past?  He won't stop!

Why sit there and make me feel guilty?  Do people have nothing to do?  Why you so picky about how I behave?  I was the 1 who made things better.

What's so bad about what I do?

Well

It's a good topic..

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Problem

Sorry I guess something was wrong with my snap reaction @ eating, but I have my rights and will not succumb to race plus not so easily.

Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

So

How can I get out of this?  People stressing me out now.

Problem

I think it's my dad stressing me out now.

Problem

My dad is attempting to stimulate me cuz he's uncomfortable.  He's acting like I'm stupid.  He's the 1 with the problems.  He just can't stand to see me unaccepted cuz I was raised by him and my mom and sometimes been by Gramma etc.

Problem

I wanted to dig in and have fun, in a way.

Problem

Why are people telling me I am bad and inferior racially?  I just gained some weight.

Mobile Soon

may or may not post

 photo 2103-05-27-5.png

Problem

Why did I get bothered for posting about my post on being stressed?  You can't treat me like I'm black and different or something.  I got that message just now, too.  I also got the message I don't need good food.  Quit making me out different as a different race.  Unfortunately, it sounds like everyone would say Ellen said that and the message traveled to me.  I don't really know.  I would not listen if anyone really said that.  Something is making my head feel more like an African now, and the stress bothers me cuz it'll gray or ruin my hair.  I can't deal with this stress.  I just wanted to post about it.  And you're watching how I'm not smiling.

Sorry

Guess people don't like when I say stuff like that, like being stressed.  Some of it made sense but wasn't what I came on knowing I'd write.  I still don't know, guess it was okay to say nicely, hopefully won't bother people too much later or whoever is bothered..

Precious Moments

People who find they have 1 or a few Jewish last names who feel they can make it seem to be upset at my mom for thinking things are precious.  Anyway, it's a thing certain people do, and on that note I mean you can't strip people of what they have, as you can see using the example of yourselves.

Question

I can't have this!  People all around insulting me, all knowing me in the world and so randomly coming up.  This wasn't like this without Tim Burton.  I like him, wonder what's gone wrong.  I'm not paying for it.  I was nice to him, at 1st.

Stressed

Is Ellen mad at me?

I realize it's weird to ask, but I used to curse a lot and she does things that make me feel like I'm a bad person but don't actually believe it.  She admits it, she does it.  She's nice, but she seems to feel I am bad.

I don't like people picking on how I used to look from too much homework, and I know that's what it is.  I also know that people would channel Ellen DeGeneres and it was not a happy thought, not my fault.  Those are the only reasons to think I'm not that good.. in this case of this case.

What if..

..God was an alien?

Audition

I auditioned for "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" that I could ousting any song I know.

It's the little things that matter..

Like putting ketchup on your potatos and butter on your hamburger bun.

TV

It's easy to differentiate Chinese and Indian|Middle Eastern religion.  The Middle East is from India.  China may be, too, but dunno.  India has stuff like the (sp?)

Bahatva Gita
Bothisatva

I dunno what the Chinese have, Buddah?  I thought he was Indian and Chinese followed therefore.

Solution!

[You could] not make posts that interest me then!-Just kidding!  You seem to always think they should be with you, interesting.

I bet you like making posts that interest me, though, since that's what you do, but I'm asking out.  I just don't want to feel like I'm someone who's a burden for anyone but actually "appreciate" it in some way.  I just don't know because I think other people are the same as famous people and wouldn't really mind if they talked to me a lot.  I mean, it's Twitter, too.  I know you write letters once a week to everyone.

I had felt you could change and just gear yourself to younger watchers and older watchers.  I definitely appreciate famous people cuz I wanna be 1, too.

I notice most people are too busy to care, like when they don't type weird things like this.  Like, they don't have to think about it.  I mean people my age range.

So, I am there for you as someone who is younger, at least, but I would also be happy to see you post to the younger people and focus attention on them.  I can't tell you to please me.  =/

Question

Ellen, why are you on Twitter even on Thursdays and mostly why Fridays?

Age

People like to pick on attractive people of other races mostly who are older but in the end also secretly treat them badly somehow of their own age I bet..

Problem

People think that what things are who are bad and rude about how mature they are, people in their late 30s and early 40s, that we're bad if it's not some thing they wouldn't say that makes sense, cuz if they say what makes sense won't get them all they want.  They are now strict to younger kids like we deserve nothing, so are going around spreading hate.

Problem

Orlando is out of step with the world.  You don't punish your offspring|younger generation and even in older age like way past 17 .. in things like conversation, explaining yourself innocently in a topic that to them like all strangely is disagreeable .. without any hint in a warning just to have the opportunity to have something you can punish .. You see, people believe in taking chances as being brave and fixing mistakes, not at all worrying about holding back because that was what was considered bad and possibly labeled selfish as well ..

Did you know that..

link

..Education is simply an extension of studying all things til 17?

Additional Twitter

Friends on the Go

What I Meant

I just meant I guess I was wondering why anyone would talk so much to my dad cuz he will say what he means, in a way.  And, that is to insult you and do the deed and such.  He just makes up some answer to look cool, not sure if he minds me admitting it now.  He thought he was up there like it was no big deal, just to be considerate of our jealousy.  I don't know, I am guessing someone else pretended partly and then in another way different.  Anyway, whatever it was, what do you think about punishing me somehow for not watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" like I was being sneaky?  I think I was preoccupied by homework and my future.  I'm supposed to do this social group, volunteer, then work part time.  I wonder what the nature of my work will be.  I wanted to go to school some, maybe can do it later.  My life does not revolve around school and work, inymore (anymore.)  It doesn't seem to revolve around anything.  Maybe to my health and wanting to live.  I'm interested, how am I sneaky?  Why would I care, literally?  I do what I want or can and then fill out what it also consists of.  Being sneaky, anyway, is not bad, when I do feel sneaky.  I am always good on the outside, or was most all of my life.  What is the joke that there's nothing here for me?  I didn't know of that til now exactly.  This is a weird topic, but I mean I'm interested.  Maybe, the experience won't be quite the same.  I what if I can do anything about it and what I can do.  I am glad we get the big summer break, soon.  True, I've been on a break for almost 10 years.  Oh yes, I wanted to go to college online or do student work.  I was gonna go up north so I would be more stimulated, too.  They are good monitors, too, like the people who work with you on your plans..  Another thing to note is I think the show might mean something to me since I am older, too.  I didn't really just get that, why as the reason.  I see that it's the same kinds of things and no young teens.  That's probably what's different.  Boy, I better catch this show, no matter how much it shouldn't cater to me.  My descriptions and other postings aren't so great, now.  I wonder if people want that to stay the same, too.  No, it's a good change and anyway something I've been wanting.  Not meaning to be mean, but that's what you'll find.  So, what was it that I was supposed to watch but wasn't like told that?  Perhaps, I also felt no one even wanted me to.  That's it, and then I did.  Then, they said it was too late for the previous seasons.  That sounds like my good singing.  It seems I've been used and am expected to do what I've been stopped from achieving.  Oh well.. too bad..  :(  No one's fault, probably.

A Rehashing-

Some of my experiences may seem wrong to you, but they were not what kept me from school.

For some reason, I recollected what Orlando used to be like.  I sensed other beings and thought of how they looked and stuff.  It's hard to get the point, as I was rather miserable.  It was funny what was involved.  It was before Steve Irwin was killed.  I kinda built myself off that, but the magic stopped.  I used to see shadows move.  I got different messages.  I was 19, it was 2005.

Up north in Berea, OH, @ Baldwin-Wallace College and Conservatory, I actually heard things, stuff I liked, like funky things and deep things but all aesthetically pleasing.  I heard so many things as I went about school.  I never caught up in history and got too tired of theory - music.  What I recall now is I heard a devil in some obscure direction clearly sucking me like it loved me.  I heard various noises and talking as I walked outside, like by the sports area.  I remember, as it stopped, it said, "I'll save you (Christina) I'll save you from falling up!"  It was like an alien, black with slanted inward blue eyes with black little pupils.  It looked like a cartoon and was very happy.  There was a red devil at the foot of my bed.  I felt air go up me and thought I was floating a little.  There was a big hairy 1 for me on the other side who was both boy and girl.  I kept tossing and turning, like I could not will myself to go any faster.  I woke up and for a long time smelled like death but in a good sorta comical way.  After I thought my arm grew a foot and back, I had blood under my armpits.  It didn't go away until a week on the 1.  It was the forearm, though.  It hurt so much but in a good way.  My hands would harden, the bone, so much, up north.  It felt good after.  After my back rehardened from being jelly, the magic stopped and I think I was depressed and didn't know what to do about school since those 3 days in bed, not reaching a phone.  I had walked around, and I imagined other kids made of glitter.  You see, I already knew my life had been or become an experiment, that I was put in another mother's body.  Then, I learned it was magic or more technical.  I was mad that they wouldn't make me feel better about a new school.  They promised this world would stop.  Now, people are mad at me for not using extra hours for school and when I walked all night - but I could make it, just maybe should have cut out organ and history.  No one seemed to really touch|reach me.  It's too bad.  Of course I'm sorry, but I thought the experiment had to compensate for me.  I was supposed to have another life where at 5' I was still a kid.  I was ready for that.  I felt bothered in the summer, too.  I just feel that's what let this happen.  I am interested in magic, but at least I've seen a "ghost" which was friendly, all friendly.  Some ominous in Orlando, the dark shadows.  That's what Orlando was like, though.

Also, I heard weird walking upstairs when I think no one was up there.  What else.. Think of this, I heard something bubbling up high saying, "How can I help you," like they were wearing a mask.  I've never heard sounds of this quality, so I don't know if it was aliens.  I saw a mechanical bug and then it disappeared, too.  I wanna feel like this other-worldly stuff is for me, but I feel my dad is stopping it.  He has family in that area, too, in the city I think.  I am concerned why he keeps flipping me off in secret like I did too many bad things and acting like maybe that was it, the magic.  I wanted to do something in real life, but I just sense anger about me in college.  I am sorry, but there was always a reason.  So, dunno.  I guess it was partly like dreaming, but I get pleasing sensations.  I am better and have more opportunity to feel touched but maybe not as much emotion.  I just think it's important.  You can be who you want and not die.  I used to worry about that, though, like not functioning and just wanting to lie there, but no.  I dunno @ the bone stuff, though, that was something other than words.  It's important for humanity.  I hope people will figure out how they feel about this.  It could mean escaping death.  I dunno, I dunno how to get it back.  I heard things in New Orleans that partly made me suicidal.  I heard hisses and ticks around my bed like the world was different.  That Charlie and the Chocolate Factory must have made me hear things.

Well, sorry, if you don't like this, but I hope you will consider I was a good person and this stuff happened and would be valuable.  Hm, smartphone on TV, yes I am excited for that.  My advice is also that you have to have your life under control to utilize magic.  I do hear little things now.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Not Right

My mom probably taught my dad to be too inherent..

He acts like he likes Ellen but not me to like her.

TV

The Ellen DeGeneres Show

She did very well at the beginning.  She seemed sad at the end.  Lotta people may have hardly ever caught her show.  I do look forward to time apart from her but more covet that she'll be on Twitter.  I always want more time with her, but I'm happy when I'm away cuz I know she'll be back.  Why would my dad be able to tell me if I can watch something or not at age 27?  He just wants to affect my time with her.  Wait- what does that mean?  I bet that's it.  I wonder if I can even play the piano.  People like him and my older aunt get all sassy about if I make a big change I feel, and I wouldn't mind being called sassy.  I might even make it my screen name.  I don't like my dad being all antsy because he's not born around 1960 and ruining my life literally.  It's not important, but the message is not right.  I actually think he does it not only to get it out - I dunno, maybe he's messing with my biology.  It has to be something.  It's probably just an idea I shouldn't worry about ever understanding nor have happen.

The Easter photos were neat.  I was a jelly bean connoisseur.

The Cash for Kindness was neat, as well.  Andy or whatever his name is was so cute.

Chelsea Handler was nice to see.  You know, I was sorta made to not like Ellen, Tim Burton when I was young.

Elizabeth Moss was real sweet.

Jason Derulo doing "Talk Dirty" was neat.  I really really liked the performance.  All good things come to an end.

Also, if Ellen is getting older and tired is okay, but it does not mean I will be submissive to my dad.  You know I said he and Ellen were servile.

So, I hope Ellen is having fun with Finding Dory and that she's relaxing and with Portia or her mama or friends.

Outta the Bath

I am doing my nails.  I will watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."  People fail to realize that I am human.  Like, me watching her show seems like someone who's not even a person watching.  I think it's a big joke for people who don't watch something to watch it and same way around.  I wonder if Ellen saying she's already established in the world thinks that if someone is attractive, it hurts her cuz that means it's her.  That's that weird L.A. logic.  That isn't true back home.  I know she just makes things up all the time to get it out so no one comes in and does something weird.  I'm not upset, I'm just saying about what happens to me when I watch her and then think on other extraneous things partly from her, too.

Shower Time

;)

Weird

I found I can get a transfer scholarship to Baldwin-Wallace in Berea, Ohio.  I feel better up there.  I can help the world and be more involved with others.  I mean, people like paying attention to me, and I can't really see like what else is going on.  I don't wanna just pick on problems.  I keep posting about places to take my mind off things LOL or rather just to start something..  I do care about others and hope they will be as good as me in the ways they strive to be.  They might have love and strict American blood, like from Poland, etc.  They might have problems, too, like farmers, for instance, about people showing off.  So, it's like dealing with any race.

Whoo..

Who spilled in the world something that people will believe in a scurry? @ me being bad when I was good.  I don't need but appreciate and take these "practice" things for what will happen to me in the world because of the fame of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?  They hate my type compared to others, in a way.  People forget that they talk to me cuz they can.  They are not being restrained from others, but people do talk about ^what^.  People are so sensitive about what I do, and I feel it is unnecessary.  I don't want you to like say oh I'm a rotten kid.  I will put up with it, but whatever happened to my past?  No one wants to talk to me about normal things.  All the things I say are disagreeable, but that's why I do it--it's an art!  None of it is bad nor insulting.  It just hits the funny bone on issues.  Like race.  I know you all secretly treat me abnormally cuz I'm Chinese, but I'm half Chinese and I'm a person not a dog..  I know people like me.  What happened to the world?  It's because of Tim Burton and Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory-it made people jealous and contradictory about the messages, in their own silent ways in some ways.

Question

Why not listen to me?  People listen to others, like my dad and strangers.  They just avoid others and hurt me, saying me being honest and nice being the only reason they care about me.  It's not true, if I were like other people they would do that anyway and should do that anyway.  Lots of people do wrong things like their elders to get a tickle, so-to-speak.  I could start naming lots of names in different ways I mean, but I won't, at least not now..

Maybe, I accused people of being bad who think they are good, but I am talking about my problems with others and using them as an example of who feels better for no reason to be different.  There's something different about my dad to note, you thinking all we are are fatpeople.

Also, I was just thinking, I found Ellen always has a harsh side now.  That's like an old best friend.  What happened to the old Ellen?  She grew up?  What should I be doing watching the show?  It's been on like this 11 years.  I guess she picks what she picks and seemingly who out there.  How can a person be better than another person?  These people are innocent.  All I know is they look for things people like

and do it to be interesting.  They make a point, and it bowls over.  I don't think things went rather well..  It's not that it's all wrong that they did.  You just see things go wrong.  Ellen wants everyone to be happy, but maybe she still likes you|those bad kids best to use as a weapon against us when we watch the show.  My teacher Ginny wanted to be bad and wild for fun, she looked sad when she knew she had to be more preppy but in a contained way.

What does it feel like when you watch the show in the audience?  What will we do if Ellen needs a break or wants 1?  She probably will still be active or make another show.  Then, you'll still have your chance.  Depends on what you do with it when you have it.  I'm just worried about the sad kids, as well as about Ellen.  Will they start taking to new people and ways?  I might have a talk show.  I'm trying to get in a movie, a way of making money to do that, too.  I am interested in movies but am getting older.  You can at least kinda more be yourself in a talk show.  I think they are filing in the kids my age though to be in movies and interact.  The others watch and judge.

I hope this post was okay and didn't hurt your feelings!  It went into some deep topics.

Keeping Fit

I was out 4 times today walking and jogging and a little running.

I did Jillian Michaels No Trouble Zones chest and abs, like 7 minutes.

Mobile

may or may not post

 photo 2103-05-27-5.png

Pants

$15 from Wal-Mart


Shirt

(from last post)

$4.99

New Outfit

link

Mobile

may or may not post

 photo 2103-05-27-5.png

Edit

I think in my last post "year" was supposed to be "here."

Taking It

People need to meet older people in New Orleans, but I can take it from year - A Hi Ya!

St. Augustine, FL - Nation's Oldest Continuing City & 2nd Oldest

Mobile

may or may not post

 photo 2103-05-27-5.png

Problem

So, what of these annoying noises?

Morning

Woke up around 7:30 A.M.

I don't understand.

When I was cursing on my blog, I was mad at people bothering me.  The cursing was mostly about someone I know persoally in my own family.  It was about what was being done to me.  If that was what it was, why is it such a big deal?  It was constant noises and still is at times in my room, my own house, insults that I had to deal with.  It's probably the overreaction for something else I did.  So, it's not a person I was upset at sending me these messages, but I guess someone used it in a message, like they can just keep bringing back from my past even more.  It's not been as long.  I'm still upset at these noises, and when I post about what they say people just get upset more rather than just read it or have anything to say about it.  I know I am reaching some people, and I've gotten tired trying to keep up with the threats.  I have talked about someone who did it, who thinks I don't know.  It was longer ago I cursed but don't think about people directly inparitcularly people I don't know personally.  Why prolong an attitude toward me?  I was watching murder cases on LMN as I slept and awoke.  Maybe, they just wanted to bring it up.  What right do these people think that I be bothered with noises in my room?  Am I in jail in your simple opinion?  Don't you know people curse?  Or they used to a lot.  What about all that gone on that it's better if you curse?  People would threaten you if you went up and said that you don't curse much.  I didn't really catch myself threatening people other than someone I know better I used sometime.  I guess that's it. Well, I was upset and these people were all dramatic and not stopping.  I should only be saying this to go along and say sorry.  Yet, no one forgives me for a description that I didn't do.  It's said that no one did anything to me and I was here just to curse for no reason attached and not that something was being done to me, constant noises in my room of bothering things and now threats and things I might recall later though not as much the later.  I have a feeling you don't know why I just said that like that, but I know it makes sense.  So, sorry, anyway, but I was very bemused to what I woke up to, stubborn as I was to accept it was just because I was watching about murders.  I guess I should post this cuz.. I dunno why.  It seems like a big thing.  I wasn't there to curse at people I don't know well.  I just cursed about if something happened.  I didn't really wanna say who, neither.  It worries me what others would think, too, about those people.  I should not have done anything quite like that.  I just was spastic and immediate about it, not like describing the whole situation.  I was under firm belief that cursing was okay.  It wasn't so nasty.  I never insult anyone nor curse them.  I just use it to describ how I feel.  There are peak moments when I use something more bad, but it's all stuff, words people have used I've heard.  Now, I just keep going and don't use certain words at all, even mediocre words.  I didn't know this upset people..  I just thought people should use curse words if it's not about someone because they don't seem to mean anything but stuff like normal that a person is, for instance, annoying or mean.  I have said people are mean and found they don't like it.  So, I guess I'll be talking about how I feel about this sometimes.  So, at a peak time, I would get more upset.  The noises and messages wouldn't stop.  I was already very upset cursing but not at anyone and then it'd happen again.  If I ever said anything bad, I know that's the only time it was, unless it was a little bad or something funny possibly.  What do you have to say about that?  Isn't that being cornered?  So, how bad is that?  I happened to be upset but not in a rage, in a way.  I guess the worst was no one talked to me about it and helped me to stop.  I don't know why someone would trick you and say you can't talk about your problems.  I don't even know if I started off cursing -at- someone.  I have proof I can look at..  What do you think about this stuff?  Everyone was so mean to me.  I can only blame people for things getting out of control, and it's not funny and not cheap.  I don't know why people are quite so interested in me, but I'd like to know about what others do.  I guess I could pay more attention to them..

So, this is just to try to mend what is broken for who or what -ever.  Maybe, this was mostly a defense.  I don't know for sure, but everyone was all over it to be funny things morning I thought.. I sensed a feeling.  I'm only sorry and saying what I didn't do.  I'm not screaming it, but saying.  I don't get saying what's not true.  I don't wanna sit here and wait for people to be embarrassed they didn't wanna think anything through but just pretty much can now say what they want to someone who used to supposedly in some way be ahead.

Also, I didn't mean to be mean, so I found ways out.  I even had no bad intention when some words came out.  I wasn't cursing at this 1 person without thinking.  I was upset at the new noises.  All I can say is it's to be ignored.  It would say like I dunno even that I was bad and stuff I might remember later.  They still do that, just in case someone else does, too.  No one helped me.  I guess it doesn't matter then but still is something that isn't good.

So, sorry, too, again, whatever that is to anyone.  I'm sorry you didn't bother to express your anger earlier, but I guess a contained time is a better time to talk.  I'll probably be talking aout this as time goes on to say sorry of course or if something comes up that isn't true.  I guess I have to be sorry for hurting someone's feelings, even if it was a pre-informed attack.  I don't agree.  I don't do that stuff.  I know people do it mainly to me.  What would I do?  I probably wouldn't be as nice or happy.  Like, I'd sit there and it wouldn't be nice sometimes, but then I'd see what really happened and pretty much see there are lots of people out there who aren't doing these things and justify myself that way partly.  Well, okay..

So so sorry, I was so so doing a bad choice.  I hope someone and anyone and everyone is okay.  I guess in their own ways should be, okay if don't like me much.  I'm not pointing to me being jealous.

Also, people are much meaner to me than things others have done.  Nothing like that happens to sensitive people who do these things as a way of life and earlier on.  I am the age where my dad is not allowed to act like that to me as far as a parent.  I am old enough that they have no right to talk about me, as I stay in my room away from them mostly.  I mean like discipline.  They get away with annoying me all the time and get mad and say, "What secret message?"  I told my therapist, and she doesn't have a solution.  It can't be people are mean to me cuz my parents just so happen to be more strict that others.  It's like they k***ed me, sorry to use the word.  They have literally harmed me via emotional things and such.  Also, this was before I started cursing, upset.  I never started doing anything to anyone.  This is ridiculous, I have bad relationships, constant lies.

So, sorry, to end on that note..

I cannot justify how people here and my family treat me, too.  That's what I meant.  Sorry if you don't like the term lie.  I don't know.. I'm getting tired again, too.  I need breakfast but was full last night and just now needed some water for the food.

It's most important to understand why the people who started being mean to me started.  Lots of people in the world don't believe in it, like when I was up north other than my relatives I knew.

Okay, so sorry again.  I'd better take a break.  Not sure what will be up, next.  It's just that it's going around, I guess.  Have to say sorry and like why and whats.  I think it's Southern Rage.  You know my mom is a little insane about punishing.. my dad is just aggressive if you upset him and you're in his immediate family, unless his parents are around sometimes to me.  Sometimes, he does that.  No one agrees.  They won't seem to talk it out.  They don't wanna get tricked.  He just is being a certain way thinking of what it is others do to me racially.  Both are a bit wacked, sorry if you don't like that word.  Wacky?  Not so bad a word.  I mean, they do things that aren't right.  I can't concentrate at home, trying to be a movie star.  I used to stay home more but had to get out for safety.. people were racist online.  Things were never the same for no reason, too.  Someone|Some people secret messaged me to call someone a nigger who also wanted me to supposedly.

Also, I don't care, you have no right to talk to me if you're just gonna hurt me, this person in my room.  They make a tick, and it affects some part of my body, won't stop, don't care, lies.  You are not being forced into this.  You aren't doing it to anyone else, I am alone.  You can't say that, that you have to do it.

Sorry to whoever doesn't wanna hurt me.  I guess I should go now..

And then you just make fun of me for arguing that..  This person is really bad and can't take that maybe sometimes they aren't perfect and that's why people get at them, not me.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Pretty Girls

English


Indonesia


TV

"The Ellen DeGeneres Show"

I liked how Ellen was interested in different emotions, like combinations of words.  She seems really nice and friendly.  I am not sure how interesting that is to most people, but I wonder why they recognize what is the same.

Classic Joke Wednesday.. whoops I used the term *** object when someone could be an poster image for it in my mind but didn't mean that, neither.

The talents were very interesting, as well.  I sent in another of me speaking quickly Betty Botter.

Ellen had 2 girls, a brunette and a blonde on her show, and they would sing American pop music.  Today, she had another young brunette and blonde.  The 1st 2 were from England, and these 2 are American, unless they're Canadian, don't seem Spanish..  These 2 girls wanted to give food to the poor for their birthday.  So, Ellen is gonna keep a relationship with them, which I think was a big and very good move.

Billy Crystal seems very nice, as well, very adamant about things and happy with how he is, though it's a secret what his feelings are.  I can tell.  He's very sweet.

Know or Go was neat today, I only knew some of it.  She asked an English girl where the Gulf of Mexico is.  She had to guess from where it was.

Frank Turner was a beautiful musician and song maker or what he is.  Ellen likes him a lot.  His song was thought-probing.

Dax Shepard was on his toes with everything, and it made me very impressed.  I am so happy for him and Christina Ricci.  He was so dynamic, strong, smart, a bit inhibited to himself, but very fun.

Welcome

Welcome to my Blogger!