What I Meant

I just meant I guess I was wondering why anyone would talk so much to my dad cuz he will say what he means, in a way.  And, that is to insult you and do the deed and such.  He just makes up some answer to look cool, not sure if he minds me admitting it now.  He thought he was up there like it was no big deal, just to be considerate of our jealousy.  I don't know, I am guessing someone else pretended partly and then in another way different.  Anyway, whatever it was, what do you think about punishing me somehow for not watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" like I was being sneaky?  I think I was preoccupied by homework and my future.  I'm supposed to do this social group, volunteer, then work part time.  I wonder what the nature of my work will be.  I wanted to go to school some, maybe can do it later.  My life does not revolve around school and work, inymore (anymore.)  It doesn't seem to revolve around anything.  Maybe to my health and wanting to live.  I'm interested, how am I sneaky?  Why would I care, literally?  I do what I want or can and then fill out what it also consists of.  Being sneaky, anyway, is not bad, when I do feel sneaky.  I am always good on the outside, or was most all of my life.  What is the joke that there's nothing here for me?  I didn't know of that til now exactly.  This is a weird topic, but I mean I'm interested.  Maybe, the experience won't be quite the same.  I what if I can do anything about it and what I can do.  I am glad we get the big summer break, soon.  True, I've been on a break for almost 10 years.  Oh yes, I wanted to go to college online or do student work.  I was gonna go up north so I would be more stimulated, too.  They are good monitors, too, like the people who work with you on your plans..  Another thing to note is I think the show might mean something to me since I am older, too.  I didn't really just get that, why as the reason.  I see that it's the same kinds of things and no young teens.  That's probably what's different.  Boy, I better catch this show, no matter how much it shouldn't cater to me.  My descriptions and other postings aren't so great, now.  I wonder if people want that to stay the same, too.  No, it's a good change and anyway something I've been wanting.  Not meaning to be mean, but that's what you'll find.  So, what was it that I was supposed to watch but wasn't like told that?  Perhaps, I also felt no one even wanted me to.  That's it, and then I did.  Then, they said it was too late for the previous seasons.  That sounds like my good singing.  It seems I've been used and am expected to do what I've been stopped from achieving.  Oh well.. too bad..  :(  No one's fault, probably.